Walking on Life's Path

I don’t know it all.  And, I never will.  

But, in this journey of curiosity, inquiry, the anticipation of what may be around the corner, and the meeting of what I haven’t figured out yet, lies the excitement.  

And, yes, I might even be wrong about what I think I know.  I’m not perfect.  I’m not a master of much of what goes on in the world, or what I think I know to figure out a problem.  And, the more I work on the stuff that I think I’m pretty good at, even a master of, I keep finding out that there is more for me to learn, and even more problems and questions that come up, as I go about my tasks.  

The learning curve still have a pretty good slope to it, keeping my journey as a healthy form of exercise, on all levels.  

Often, being able to ask the question is often more important than thinking I have the answer.  I usually don’t have the answer, at least the right answer. Even if the answer was right a while ago, it has a good chance of not being right now, anyway.  And, “right” and “correct” are relative, anyway.

But, I have a lot of questions, and more than enough enigmas, quandaries, and paradoxes to keep me moving forward, looking for the answers.  Somedays, I just discover I have more questions.  

Simply having the questions is becoming increasingly comfortable.  I’m full of questions.  I keep finding more questions, and revising, rewriting the questions.  Questions give me structure, and give me direction.  

I’ve always needed direction.  I’ve been around long enough that I can see the cycles, the patterns of life, and society, and being able to navigate through it al, with some sense of purpose and structure.  I can get easily lost if I don’t have focus, and a path to try to follow.  

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are headed.” —Lao Tzu.

When I figure out I’m going in the wrong direction, I summon my courage, dust off my list of questions, and take a new path.  I “work my hard” and change directions, heading on a new path.  And, when I look back, I can see where I’ve stumbled, and where I’ve danced, and I usually figure out that my choices were good ones.  

I’m loaded with questions, and I’m on my path, my meandering path.  My job is to keep track of where I’m headed, and to not get so caught up in myself that I start thinking I know it all, that I have all the answers.  If I’m curious and not afraid to look at the compass once in a while, life keeps on being an exciting, and rewarding adventure.  

—Neal Lemery, 11/23/2013

November Storm

Quiet now,

so quiet I can almost imagine 

the sheets of rain beating on the roof,

running down the windows, while I make tea

and feel its heat in my hands, the rest of me

buried under my blanket in my chair,

drying mouse hunter snoring in my lap.

The house will shake with yet another gust, 

the roar and whistling of wind streaking by

not long from its marathon above the ocean

from the tropics or Alaska, or wherever this storm was born.

The lights will flicker with the bigger gusts and maybe go out,

leaving us with the lone candle on the coffee table,

before I light Grandma’s “coal oil lamp” 

and get out the cribbage board.

Perhaps then we will make sandwiches by candlelight,

sipping the soup I’d made before the storm began,

and deal another hand, laughing and talking—

the storm slamming against the house,

garbage can lid and the last of the leaves

sailing by,

in the deep black of the soaking wet

night.

Later on, under the added blanket, 

I will wake to a long gust, whistling around the house

yet more rain coming sideways, only

the lightning showing me the neighbor’s house, 

thunder joining the wind in chorus of the night long song.

After dawn, air still, rain down to a drizzle, 

the rumble of the furnace, and the refrigerator,

means I can make the coffee,

the cribbage board there on the table, ready for the next deal.

—Neal Lemery, 11/18/13

A Courageous Dilemma

We often think heroes are the folks somewhere else, the people on the front page or on the TV news, people who have done something amazing.  They’re the people meeting the President, getting a medal.

But, we have heroes here, right in my town. And, sometimes, I get to be a witness to some amazing acts of courage and determination to just do the right thing.

A friend of mine is facing a serious dilemma.  Their work, and their values and morals, and what is truly in their best interest are now at loggerheads.  Life isn’t working out the way they want it, and there’s a lot of conflict, a lot of strife.  

And, it’s becoming clear that the right thing to do is make some big changes, and to move on.  That means giving up some things that are near and dear to their heart.  Yet, they aren’t able to fully live their morals and values the way things are now.  

They are at the crossroads, and the road is muddy, and there are a lot of questions, and not as many answers.  

My friend has wrestled with all of this, and keeps coming back to thinking they need to live their morals and values, and be true to themselves, to honor their core values.  And, when they’ve looked at their dilemma in that way, the choices become clear, and the path ahead opens up, and they can move forward.

They’re unstuck, now, and they’ve figured it out.  Do the right thing, be true to their values, and find the courage to move ahead, to embrace change.  Once they’ve come around to living life according to their beliefs, the choices are a lot easier, a lot clearer.

This conflict hasn’t been easy.  There’s been a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of conversation over coffee with friends, a lot of wandering in the desert of uncertainty and doubt.  And, in that darkness, they’ve found their stars again, and they’ve refocused on their beliefs and morals.  Their compass has found True North again, and they are ready to make their move.

I’ve helped, just a bit, in that journey.  I’ve listened, and put my judging and second guessing to the side.  My role as friend in all this has been to listen, and to repeat back to them what they are saying, so they can hear their own words, their own values, through another voice.

My friend has figured it out.  I don’t need to decide for them, and I don’t need to analyze the dilemma through my own values and beliefs.  I just need to let them hear what they are saying, and let they say and hear their own advice, their own solution to their dilemmas.

I’d want that for me, when it’s my turn in the box of paradox, dilemma, and conflict.  Someone to hold up that mirror, and let me see myself for what I am, and for what I believe in, and want to achieve. We all need that person in our lives to give us permission to get out the compass, and find our True North.

My friend is moving on, taking steps now in the direction they’ve chosen, and feeling pretty happy about it.  They aren’t expecting to get a medal from the President, but they deserve one, for being courageous and for doing the right thing.

Neal Lemery   11/5/2013

Lost and Found

                              

                          By Neal Lemery

   I can be so lost and alone, in a crowd of people.

   I plug into my electronic devices, suddenly accessing the immediacy of "news", social commentary, so many thoughts of others.  Yet, I can be, at the same time, in a dark cave of despair, my isolation and sense of unworthiness becoming the ghosts in the dark.  

   Friends are searching for their own meaning in life, their purpose, their place in this hectic, yes frantic world of immediate deadlines and obligations.  

   We heed the call of the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland, "hurry, hurry."  

   But, we can be lost, easily pushed to the side of the freeway, as the world goes rushing on by.

  What we have sensed that we have lost is being connected with each other.  We used to tell stories around the fire at night, and during the day, work together, laughing and singing, always connected.    We shared the good and the bad.  

   We were close to the land, and the stars, the birds, and, through our hands, we were connected to the earth.  Our work was something we could see, touch, hold onto.  

   How we lived our day impacted our village. If we didn't hunt, or plant, or work together, we did not eat.  We truly connected with each other, and with the universe.  Spirituality was not abstract, it was real.  And, we had accountability around the fire at night, and around the shared meal.  

   Social media is popular, as we are back around the fire, telling stories, catching up, sharing our lives.  It has its drawbacks, and we can easily be alone in a crowd, ignoring the person next to us.  But, social media life is a form of village life, of community.

  Today, friends write about the  power of Alcoholics Anonymous, the Friends of Bill W. Why does that message, that simple act of gathering together and sharing, why does that work for so many people? Why does that change lives? 

  AA works because it is communal, it brings spirituality to the forefront of our lives, it has a belief that our  spirituality and our uniqueness as a person is truly valuable, and we benefit from the spiritual energy of others.  All religions, all prophets have the core message: be connected, love one another, find peace and meaning in being in communion with each other and with the universe.  Avoid separateness, don't be alone.  We are all one brotherhood and sisterhood.  The person next to us matters to us, simply because they are our brother, our sister.

  Yesterday, I reconnected.  The sun was out, it was a perfect day, almost hot, and still, with the colors of Autumn around me.  I had plants to plant in my yard, and it felt good to my soul to push a shovel into the rich, dark soil, and make a new home for shrubs, trees, and daffodils.  

  In sixty or seventy years, the trees I planted will reach their prime, and will send their seeds throughout the valley, and stand tall and proud, objects of beauty for those who come after me.  I will be long gone, but what my feet, back and hands did for those trees yesterday will be remembered by the trees, on the day they moved here and took up residence.  

   It felt good to feel the dirt under my feet, and between my fingers.  I held the plants, and their roots, tenderly settling them into the ground, settling the dirt next to their roots, and watering them in.  One tree needed staking, to hold it up in the coming winter storms.  Yet, all too soon, it will be growing tall and sturdy, its roots firmly reaching downward, connecting with and becoming part of this land.

  Being the tree planter connected me with the earth, and with the universe.  I am part of this place, as is the tree, and the hawk that circled above me, and the wind that blew in off the ocean, bringing the smell of last night's rain.  

  Today, I am far away, meeting one of my buddies, making more connections with him, as he is planting his own trees, and setting down his own roots.  He, too, will grow straight and tall, his soul firmly planted in good soil, taking in the water and sunlight of knowledge and stability, making his life rich and productive.

   I've been teaching him about tree planting, and farming his soul.  He's a good student, and what I've been saying about what we do in the village, how we are part of our tribe, is stuff he's taken into his heart.  

   "What are you doing today?" people ask. 

   Making connections, planting trees, tending my soul, taking care of the brothers and sisters in this world.  That's what I'm doing.

10/7/2013

To Forget

To Forget

The list of things to forget

brought me to remember what I’d lost

and not wanted to find ever again--

to pains and ashes and broken hearts

of long ago and yesterday,

all coming back.

To write it down becomes remembrance--

I try mourning again, like the obituary

falling out of the well fingered Bible,

old and tattered, its fluttering downward

bringing fresh tears.

In trying to forget, I remember again

the joys and smiles and songs well sung.

Those notes dull the pain of what

I came here to forget, but 

need to remember

again.

  ---Neal Lemery, 9/2/2013

The Wisdom I Heard This Week

The Wisdom I Heard This Week

Eckhart Tolle

May I suggest a deeper and somewhat unusual perspective on who you are?

You are not just a person, and you are not IN the Universe.

You ARE the Universe, which IN YOU is awakening, experiencing itself, becoming conscious. That consciousness is who you are in essence. We are all fleeting expressions of it. The Universe awakens THROUGH experiencing challenges and limitations. That means YOU awaken and deepen through your challenges, as does humanity as a whole. So welcome or at least accept all that life brings you. Change what can be changed, otherwise surrender to what IS. Feel the Presence within you as the background to every experience. Know that, as Jesus put it, "you are the light of the world."

With love

Eckhart Tolle

Johnny Moses, Salish storyteller  

You decide if you want to live, or if you want to die.

If you decide you want to live, you also need to decide how you will live.

Every day is a new start, a rebirth, a new beginning.  You can’t go back.  You have to move ahead.  

Love yourself.  Respect yourself.  The power of loving yourself is transformative.

Every adult in the village can be a parent.  When you are growing up, you need a lot of parents.  

In the Salish language,

the words for singing and crying are the same

the words for death and change are the same

(Life is a process of change.  Embrace that change and move on.  Be reborn.)

In Salish culture, you are not a man until you can cry for your people.  When boys learn to cry and share their emotions, then they become men.

Notes from the Dalai Lama’s Talk on Compassion

Portland, Oregon, May 11, 2013

“Compassion means genuine loving kindness, the wish for others to be happy.  All the world’s religions -- every one -- message is compassion.  We need the practice of tolerance.  We need the practice of forgiveness.”

People of faith who aim to practice these values must be serious about it.  

“In many cases, religious practice is simply lip service.  Talk compassion, do something different.  Sometimes religion teaches us hypocrisy.”

“We can see among non-believers some people really dedicated to serving other people.  Be a compassionate person, not necessarily a religious believer.”

“Compassion is the key factor one one’s own well-being.  We are social animals, but those dogs always barking often remain lonely.”

Compassion includes tolerance and acceptance.  Anger is counter-balanced by tolerance and acceptance.  

Serving others is a tradition of all religions.  All religions have the same potential.

Be truly, sincerely committed.  Everyone needs the practice of compassion, in order to be happy.  Compassion is not only for religious people.

Compassion and affection are biological in nature.  (For example, nurturing a baby.)  As we grow older, greed and self-centeredness erode our compassion.  These are the costs of growing up.  

Religious tradition builds on the biological compassion, to encourage a lifetime of compassion.  All faiths have a tradition of compassion.  

Affection, action, and research are our karma in our lives.  When change occurs, we need to research, re-evaluate, take action, and change.   Action that is positive results in happiness.

A materialistic life is a cultural habit, and is living at a superficial level.  It is animal thinking.  So, go broader.  Humans are able to reason.  Use reason to extend compassion to all levels, all people.  Change your thinking.

Materialism is not happiness.  

The hygiene of emotion.  Our emotional state is as important as our physical state.  We need to educate ourselves and others about emotional health.  

This is “secular ethics”.  “Secular” means to respect all religions and the non-believer.  

Religion promotes basic human values, but, often, religious practices and views corrupt this.  The ruling class can corrupt this, and there is often bullying.  

Institutions get corrupted.  We need to recognize this,  change, and oppose this.  Religion isn’t necessarily religious institutions.  

Sincerely gentle people live better, more peaceful, happier lives, and have more friends.  

Affection, a sense of concern, brings trust, brings friendship.

Fear, hate, and anger eats at our immune system.  Compassion increases our immune system.

People, if they are NOT the recipient of affection early on in their lives, are less satisfied, have a lesser sense of love, are more anxious, and less happy.

Be committed.  Be unified with others who are also seeking more compassion in their lives.

(compiled by Neal Lemery) May 18, 2013

Notes From the Dalai Lama's Talk on Compassion

Portland, Oregon, May 11, 2013

“Compassion means genuine loving kindness, the wish for others to be happy.  All the world’s religions -- every one -- message is compassion.  We need the practice of tolerance.  We need the practice of forgiveness.”

People of faith who aim to practice these values must be serious about it.  

“In many cases, religious practice is simply lip service.  Talk compassion, do something different.  Sometimes religion teaches us hypocrisy.”

“We can see among non-believers some people really dedicated to serving other people.  Be a compassionate person, not necessarily a religious believer.”

“Compassion is the key factor one one’s own well-being.  We are social animals, but those dogs always barking often remain lonely.”

Compassion includes tolerance and acceptance.  Anger is counter-balanced by tolerance and acceptance.  

Serving others is a tradition of all religions.  All religions have the same potential.

Be truly, sincerely committed.  Everyone needs the practice of compassion, in order to be happy.  Compassion is not only for religious people.

Compassion and affection are biological in nature.  (For example, nurturing a baby.)  As we grow older, greed and self-centeredness erode our compassion.  These are the costs of growing up.  

Religious tradition builds on the biological compassion, to encourage a lifetime of compassion.  All faiths have a tradition of compassion.  

Affection, action, and research are our karma in our lives.  When change occurs, we need to research, re-evaluate, take action, and change.   Action that is positive results in happiness.

A materialistic life is a cultural habit, and is living at a superficial level.  It is animal thinking.  So, go broader.  Humans are able to reason.  Use reason to extend compassion to all levels, all people.  Change your thinking.

Materialism is not happiness.  

The hygiene of emotion.  Our emotional state is as important as our physical state.  We need to educate ourselves and others about emotional health.  

This is “secular ethics”.  “Secular” means to respect all religions and the non-believer.  

Religion promotes basic human values, but, often, religious practices and views corrupt this.  The ruling class can corrupt this, and there is often bullying.  

Institutions get corrupted.  We need to recognize this,  change, and oppose this.  Religion isn’t necessarily religious institutions.  

Sincerely gentle people live better, more peaceful, happier lives, and have more friends.  

Affection, a sense of concern, brings trust, brings friendship.

Fear, hate, and anger eats at our immune system.  Compassion increases our immune system.

People, if they are NOT the recipient of affection early on in their lives, are less satisfied, have a lesser sense of love, are more anxious, and less happy.

Be committed.  Be unified with others who are also seeking more compassion in their lives.

Neal Lemery